Where did the time go?

Wow...

I have a small little calendar that I received as a gift for Christmas. I made it my little countdown calendar. I woke up this morning and all of a sudden I realize I only have 35 days left here. EAK! I am so so mixed with emotion. I seriously can't wait to be home with friends and family.

But.....

I have never really had to leave anything behind before. I have moved away from family and friends...I have left a wonderful job and experience in Mansfield...I graduated from college and left many memories and friends. But with all things I have left there has always been a return or an expecting reunion.

It is different with my life here in Switzerland. One, I have experienced this time alone. Ok...not like alone alone...but much of this year has been spent in solitude...sometimes a choice and sometimes it just happened. I have traveled alone, discovered alone, processed alone (not all the time...but the alone times have occurred more than community times). So the experience is mine and I will only be able to share it with others. That in itself is AMAZING...but it is different when you experience something with someone else...that way whenever you are missing it you just go to them and spend the time reminiscing. I guess this is where skype, email and extra phone calls to valued friends here will come in!

Two, Switzerland is across the ocean from America, my soon to be home. I know I can jump on a plane and visit...but it is a little harder than that. I am realizing as I am starting the good bye process that I will never see some of these people again in my life. I look out the window and realize it will be a while before I get to see the amazing Alps again. My heart is very much here. Imagine what it is like to invest your whole self into something for ten months....a close friend, a marriage, a job...etc. I have put all of me into this year...and this year has been extremely emotional and transforming. When emotions and transformation takes place you are attached for forever. And now I am leaving...leaving across an ocean...in 34 days.

There have been a lot of hard days. I have been doing a lot of reminiscing as I think about leaving. There are days that I just desired to be away from this place. There are afternoons I longed to be with family and friends. There were months (for real) I went without a hug (you know...one of those hugs where you just KNOW the other person loves you). But I can't help but be thankful for every moment of it. I couldn't become the person I am intended to be without every day of the past, what will be ten months.

I don't want to overshadow the fantastic times with the hard times. This year has been a blast! I have some friendships that will last a lifetime! I have seen parts of the world I never thought I would. I have been transformed in many facets of my life. My relationship with my family members have strengthened so much. I have lived in the freaking Swiss Alps that radiate with God's glory! I have experienced a new way of thinking by living in a new culture. I have learned new modes of communication. I have also received new ideas for future youth work I do. And of course, a year like this does not allow for the absence of God to be active. I had a choice to engage, luckily I did. My relationship with the Father is a world different. I enjoy a new form of communication with him. I have learned to receive and give to him. There is just so much there!

Wow....

I just came to "announce" that I am coming home in 34 days....and a lot more came out!